I Just Want Your Stuff DARNIT!

Do you ever just struggle with envy? We've been "discussing" envy in the Molegraaf house quite a bit. I have a child who would rather remain nameless that struggles with envy more than the others. Frankly, It's just been gettin on my nerves! A wise man once told me that when something about someone bugs you so much that your volume just gets loud, chances are you have the same issue in way or another. Well, even that just makes me a little ticked!

Truth be told, this mama struggles with envy.

"Life is war. All talk of a Christian's right to live luxuriously 'as a child of the King' in this atmosphere sounds hollow - especially since the King Himself stripped for battle ... An evidence of how many have been deceived by... Western commercialism and materialism is how little we give and how much we have." -John Piper's The Dangerous Duty of Delight. I read this quote and it stirred my heart, and convicted me greatly.

Don't ya just hate when you are trying to "fix" your kids and then God shows you how your walking around with a log in your eye? I feel like in this whole parenting thing it's always right back on me. I'm here trying to raise and teach my children, but in the process I realize I'm the one who needs some teachin!

My advice to my nameless child was that sometimes not having everything we want is really a gift. I related with him, and confessed my struggle. I then told him how when I have a lot of what I want it's kinda like a drug, cause it satisfy's for a little while, but soon enough, I'm on to wanting or "needing" the next thing.

Living this missionary life has given God quite a bit of control over our finances. If you know me well you know this has been a struggle for me, but I'm moving into a time of joyfully receiving this as a gift. I'm beginning to realize how I was finding joy in "stuff", but it was a counterfeit joy. This is why it never kept me full, I had this constant longing. God withholding some of the unnecessary "stuff" has surely been a gift to this little greedy girl.

Going without some "stuff" has allowed my heart to experience true joy. After you experience true joy for a while, you recogonize when your settling for the counterfeit. I'm thinkin God's on to the fact that I need a little longer on this, cause He's still asking me to go without some things that I'm struggling with not having.

I'm guessing that when my children see mama content and full of joy without so much stuff, they'll find their way in this also. I'm learning that I can't teach what I'm not living.

God, would you continue to fill me with true joy, even if it means going without some "stuff", even if you know it needs to be for a long time? Would you help me to be about what your about? Thanks for never giving up on me God, and for loving me enough to not give me everything I think I "need". It sure is helping me to experience so much more of you.