REAL Family Life

Most days I absolutely love my life. Yesterday however was not one of these days. The day started out great. I woke up to the sweet smell of my coffee (that's always a good thing), and I even had some great alone time - just me God and Cal.

Hans left early to meet with some friends for coffee and accountability, but assured me he would be back so we could have a little time before he worked on our support from home that morning. I go out for a little jog and come home with a message from Ky to call Daddy at work. At work?? His accountability group had switched from Starbucks to the office (K-why would anyone do that?). Anyway, this means he is staying at work and will come home in the afternoon to do support. Well I've told you before it bums me out if I'm looking forward to some time with him and don't get it, so we start the day with disappointment #1.

Disappointment #2 comes when I realize he took the Suburban cause he thought he'd be back, but he's not and I've got to go to Sams/Walmart today. You know what I mean, when you have put it off for so long and if you don't go you will have to feed your family ice for dinner.

So I have to take Hans' no AC, not even sure if it has a paint color, 1975 Dodge Dakota..... K-so it's not quite that old, but it might as well be, ya know. The topper is it's raining so I have to shove the $500 worth of groceries in the front with me which means not only can I have zero pride while driving this thing, I will look like a little head sticking out of a pile of groceries. Also, I can't take the baby and I have to come home in between the Sams-Walmart run to nurse him. The fact is I already hate Sams/Walmart day and none of this is helping. Dissappointment #3

I rush home with the idea that I will cook us a meal and hope to eat it with them before I rush out to a mandatory meeting for Family Life women. At this point I am attempting to keep it together. I am unloading groceries, cooking dinner, helping kids with homework, refereeing fighting children, and somewhere in there nursing the baby - again. After this goes on for about and hour I am beginning to feel I might loose it. I look over on the couch and Hans is napping soundly in the midst of the chaos. Disappointment #4- Now he is holding the baby who was screaming but has now stopped and is sleeping soundly with him, but I'm still feeling a little bitter. Loosing it is approaching very quickly now. How in the heck can he sleep when I'm about to have a mental breakdown?

I run upstairs realizing I have 20min to get out the door and I have not even showered yet. I take a quick shower and try to find something that doesn't scream I'm still pregnant (since I'm not) to wear to this meeting. I try on several pair of jeans and end up choosing the ones that give me a pretty bad muffin top, great! I leave with no time for dinner and settle for a protein bar instead, so this means I'll be starving all night Disappointment #5.

I am late picking up friends that are riding with me and if that's not enough realize I need gas. Thanks Hansy for driving the suburban and leaving it on E! Disappointment #6. We are late to a meeting with around 150 ladies and the only available table is you guessed it in the very front of the room. Immediately after arriving you know who, wants his personal buffet of milk. I try and be discrete and pull my chair off to the side wall to nurse. I don't have on a nursing bra because you could see the thick straps with the cute I'm not pregnant anymore shirt I was wearing. When I am done nursing I cannot fix my bra it least not discretely like I I'd like too. It's a huge bullet proof, padded, double D strapless, and its above my boob pretty much sticking out of my shirt. Do you have a visual? I look like I have three boobs. I try to reach in and adjust discretely, but there is absolutley no hope of that. Disappointment #6 and #7.

However, after the meeting at about 10pm I hang around and have some great laughs with friends. I come home and nurse my sweet baby again who goes right to sleep and I get to snuggle up to the man I love and haven't been next to all day long. Life if full of chaos and dissappointment, but it is still none the less a beautiful life. This is the life I was meant to live, and there is nothing else in this world that I love more.