A few days ago we moved Calvin from the cradle to his crib. He went in with his big brothers into the boy room. Or I should say from my bed into his crib. He slept in his cradle on occasion, but for the most part he slept in my arms right up against me.
Unfortunately I would have never done this with my first two children due to all of the parenting books and classes we were taking. I say unfortunately because starting with the third(Ryland) I let them sleep with us and it was such a beautiful experience for me.
Well there comes a time, and it's been different with each, when it's time for baby to go permanently. That time came a few days ago with Cal. He won't go back and forth from cradle to mommy's arms anymore. He only wants to sleep in my arms and as you can imagine that's causing a bit of a problem. So into the crib he went and to my surprise he was easy. He loves his crib he sleeps so good in it.
Now the problem lies with me. Knowing and grieving that he is the last baby(at least that I will birth and nurse) my heart aches seeing him in his crib. There is just something about the hope of knowing you may one day do it again, and for me that hope is no more.
My mother in law gave our family the children's book by Karen Kingsbury Let Me Hold You Longer. I love this book. In the note from the author Karen talks about how we celebrate our children's first. The first step, tooth, day of kindergarten ect., but somehow along the way we miss their last.
In most situations it is impossible to know when the last occurs. When will they be too heavy to run and jump up into my arms? When will it be the last time they play with my hair "to make it pretty"? When will be the last time they want me to help make a secret hideaway out of blankets and couch pillows? When will be the last time they sleep all night in my arms? Karen ask the question if we knew it was the last would we hold on to that moment a little longer?
I think I would, hold on a little longer if I knew it was the last. So for all us mama's here to holding on just a little longer, it could be the last.
Monday, November 12, 2007
LAST TIMES
Posted by Star Molegraaf at 9:34 AM
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5 comments:
Boo hoo! What a great reminder!
I love that picture of baby Cal. SO sweet. I am also glad that I put away conventional wisdom and held my little boys in my arms while they slept. Their sweaty little bodies cuddled up with mine. I loved it. But, any healthy relationship lets go for growth. SO...I too know the pain of knowing it is time to move on when they go to their cribs. Glad you embraced it fully. That is true wisdom. Love, Melissa Hutsell
i am bawling.
I told my husband the other day that I was heartbroken that Lydia was my last. Last first tooth, last first step, last first smile, etc. Some days I think I should have more. But one day, one child will have to be my last. Makes me sad.
Hi! I have just read your last few posts. I can really relate to this one. I am pregnant with my last (our 4th) and with each passing week think about how I will never do this again. It is so hard to have the last. I am looking forward to snuggling all night long with this little one, one last time.
Your family is beautiful. Merry Christmas.
~Katie
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